Why Discernment Can Be Hard

1/27/21

Dear friend,

Earlier this week I was asked by someone what I would choose as a subject for a workshop if I was to be invited to lead one. I enjoyed rolling this question around in my mind while making dinner and washing the dishes that night!

I eventually answered the question by saying, "My sweet spot is discernment. Also, once something has been discerned, putting our discernment into action. Noticing our invitations and living into them with intention."

Something opened up in my chest when I landed on those namings as my answer. Discernment, invitations, being responsive and intentional toward those invitations—this is how I love to live, and it's a joy to connect with others who want to live this way too.

This got me thinking about the two pieces I wrote recently on the subject of invitations that explored some version of the question "How do we notice invitations and/or know they're meant for us?"

(If you missed those pieces, you can find them archived here and here.)

I thought perhaps we could keep exploring this topic for a while.

How do we notice and discern our invitations, and what can it look like to live into them once they come?

One of the reasons I love discernment work so much is that it's utterly unique to every person and circumstance. The particulars of each life and all that's being weighed when it comes to something being discerned—those things are different every time.

This makes your life and your discernment of a particular thing so precious. There's no across-the-board answer for it. It warrants care and gentle holding, taking the pieces and particulars seriously.

I realize the flip side of this is that it can be unnerving. Wouldn't it be easier if we knew the answer right away? If someone could tell us what to do? If we didn't have to worry about "getting it wrong"?

I want to invite you back to the previous side. The side that says your life is singular and worthy of noticing. The side that says there are more complexities to you and your circumstances than a one-size-fits-all answer can ever expect to hold. The side that says all the particularities of what you're weighing matter.

Your life is a weighty thing. It holds layers and layers.

The people around you matter too. How a discernment affects them is yet another expansion of the layers.

If you're finding a particular discernment hard, there's legitimacy to that. Maybe one way to frame it is to say, "There are lots of layers here." Another thing you might find yourself noticing is, "Some of these layers touch each other, creating a sensitive friction."

I'd like us to tuck into this a bit more, exploring discernment and invitations and intention in greater depth. If at any time these explorations strike a chord with you, create deep resonance, or provoke questions—consider this your open invitation to hit reply and share your thoughts.

I look forward to sharing more with you next week.

Yours in exploration,
Christianne