How Do We Know Which Invitations Are Ours?
1/19/21
Dear friend,
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how the contemplative stance is one that helps us notice our invitations. (If you missed that piece, you can read it here.)
Since that time, I've been paying attention to this idea of invitation.
How do we know which ones are ours?
This is partly on my mind because we just stepped into a new year. Post-Christmas, all the "new year, new you!" ads and social media posts began their predictable onslaught. Every retail outlet and social media influencer seemed to think all of us had an invitation in the new year to work out, eat green, and purchase all the clothes and gadgets to go along with those things.
This question of knowing which invitations are ours is also on my mind because we just welcomed nearly 30 new members into the Light House community. I'm carrying an elevated awareness of our rhythms and rituals and language as they get settled in, and particularly the language of "invitation" that we use in the community, as it's such a cornerstone of how we talk about our light and our ongoing discernment.
And lastly, this question is on my mind because of what I'm holding as my sense of my own invitations at the start of this new year.
So, how do we notice our invitations, and how do we know which ones are ours or not?
One thing I find helpful in response to this question is to think about our capacity—how many invitations we can reasonably expect to steward at a given time.
I remember learning from Michael Hyatt, the creator of the Full Focus Planner, several years ago that we would do well to limit our focus each quarter to 3-4 goals we hope or expect to accomplish.
His language was goals-focused, but I found that guidance rang true when I applied it to my own invitation-based way of life too.
I mentally reviewed different seasons of growth and periods of intention in my life in the previous 10-15 years and noticed there were, in fact, usually just 1-4 things I could name as receiving my primary focus during those times.
Let's extend the metaphor of invitation, then, to say that our hands can only capably hold so many envelopes in them at one time. We can only say yes to so many things. Our attention, energy, and time is finite. Decisions—or discernment—must be made.
In some seasons, the focus might be internal. In others, it might be expressive in the outer, external world. Sometimes it's a blend of both.
But what is genuinely ours to hold will not, taken all together, be more than our single life can hold at one time. Discerment takes this into account.
Here are some questions you can hold, then, to help you discern the invitations that are yours in a given season of life . . .
How are you being invited to grow right now?
What are you seeking to live into with your life at this time?
Who or what are you responsible to at this time, and what are they legitimately needing from you right now?
What is primary right now? What is secondary? Tertiary?
What might need to be let go?
What might need to wait?
What is being handed to you but is not really yours?
What are the whispers of your heart and that of the divine voice speaking to you?
Discernment is subtle, my friends. It requires stillness, listening inward, noticing, paying attention, and learning what it looks and sounds like for us.
This is not easily done, and giving ourselves the time and space to pause, notice, and listen to these things is especially challenging within our predominant culture of noise, hurry, and distraction. I struggle with this myself!
But I also know these are necessary practices if we are to reach the clarity we seek for the lives we've been given to live. It's something we recommit to doing again and again, always with gentleness and grace.
Do you know what's being invited of you in this season of your life?
If you'd care to share it with me, you're welcome to reply!
Yours in listening and ongoing discernment,
Christianne