How Important Is the Spiritual Ground of the Spiritual Director?

4/6/22

Dear friend,

I shared in my two most recent letters to you that I've recently reclaimed the truth of my own spiritual ground as well as my primary vocational identity as a spiritual director.

This has me sitting with all kinds of questions.

For example, what clarity emerges about what the Light House is and who it's for and the kind of things we do together if its founder and primary leader is first and foremost a spiritual director?

Also, how important is the spiritual ground of the spiritual director when it comes to her relationship with those she serves?

(If you missed the previous two letters, you can read the first one about reclaiming my own spiritual ground here and the second one about my spiritual director identity on behalf of a community here.)

Today I'm going to share the insights I'm gaining on that second question.

The first thing that's obvious to me is that it's quite important that the spiritual director have her own spiritual ground. I personally would not want to meet with a spiritual director who had no spiritual ground beneath her feet, would you?

There's an expectation that this be true—that the director has her own spiritual grounding that provides her with stability and nourishment and supports her discernment practice. Her own spiritual ground informs the way she lives her life and how she listens to you.

I also think the spiritual director's beliefs about God matter to those she serves. What kind of Being does she believe God to be?

If she believes in a God that's retributive and punitive, that will affect the way she hears you, sees you, and offers anything to you. If she believes God to be compassionate, welcoming, warm, and loving, that too will inform the way she sees and hears and offers anything to you.

What about religious background? Does it matter that a spiritual director have the same religious background as those she serves?

I think that depends on both parties.

For example, it may matter a lot to one person that her spiritual director stand on the same religious ground she does. It may also matter to the spiritual director that she meet only with those within the same religious background she knows and practices.

But for another person, it may not matter that the religious context be exactly the same but more that the director have the capacity to receive and be with them where they are, in their current place and names for God and spiritual experience.

The person in this second scenario might say something like, "I don't need you to have the same religious background as me, but it matters to me that somewhere inside you, either through your own spiritual experience or your connection to the spiritual experiences of other people, you have the expansive capacity to meet me where I am and to hear and receive and support me in what is true for me."

And then, at the same time, I believe a spiritual director needs to be honest about the limits of her own ground.

It would be inauthentic, for example, not to mention potentially harmful, for a spiritual director who is not a follower of Islam to meet with a Muslim person and expect to be able to understand the culture, language, beliefs, and tensions of someone following that way. There needs to be an honest conversation between both parties about what is and is not possible in that space they occupy together.

This isn't to say a Muslim person and a Christian person could not work in spiritual direction together. It is to say that there needs to be an honest assessment of the needs, desires, and scope of what is possible and able to be of service within that relationship.

Welcome to the conversations happening in my heart and mind and closest relationships right now!

I'm thinking about these things a lot as I weigh and discern my ongoing contempative leadership. What is needed? What is necessary? What is possible? What is not?

I am grateful for the chance to share this glimpse into my evolving leadership with you. And I'd be so inspired to hear if this letter provoked anything in you!

Do you identify with any of the hypothetical situations named above? What's important to you in being received, heard, and guided by a spiritual director in your own life?

Yours in contemplative light,
Christianne